I won't admit it but I'm still in love with you. I think about you every single waking hour

I won't admit it but I'm still in love with you. I think about you every single waking hour.

that's a unique feel you won't be able to feel eventually. you should cherish that

I had missed this feeling. I had not felt it since I was very young. But it is torture. Nothing else has ever made me so miserable

She never loved you, and she doesn't love whoever she's with now. You could be a recovered junkie talking about smack and the dynamic would be identical.

You are right although you got the sex wrong

Lol OP is gay

Not my fault cunt

Begone, wicked homosexual. Get topped on Grindr.

i love this picture so much. calvin looking out his window has been my profile picture for years. bill watterson is such a genius.

What's your address anon

123 Fake St

what happened? did you leave them or did they leave you

Unrequited love situation.

Off topic, but I appreciate your choice of pic.

It will pass. Everything does. You should enjoy being able to feel anything, lest it disappears entirely.

Oh, then he might actually love whoever he's with now, unless he's a dyedinthewool narcissist, which is still possible

Thanks anon. I know what you mean. I had felt numb for years before this. It has reminded me that I am alive and capable of feeling things. But it hurts so bad.
Maybe. I can't even tell

he's ftm i bet

I won't admit it

You just did

Kinda reminds me of the relationship I had a long time ago. Hardly a relationship, but was a ftm, and the pooner driven by only emotions and zero logic type.
They made me feel loved in ways that I valued and still do value a lot but they were impossible to reason with on many topics, simply because they had a feelings over facts kind of mindset.
Very hard to get along with.

They made me feel loved in ways that I valued and still do value a lot

fucking uncanny I almost feel like I could have written this. can you tell me more about it

my lonely faggot thread has turned into a poonertrauma thread

I'm OK with this development

I'm not entirely sure what you want me to elaborate on but I'd be happy to share. Anything specific you'd like to know?

get over it man, women move on instantly so you're just wasting your time thinking about someone that has forgotten you exist.
it's an option, like you choose to not let it go, so just let it go and move on.

was it like a level of attention that was very new and exciting to you? did you remain friends or did you stop talking?

Well, they praised me like I was above them a lot. It made me feel really special that I was that important, thought about, and special to somebody. They thought I was perfect, gorgeous the way I was, smart, brave. They loved me for who I was, it was kinda like an obsession.

damn. where did you meet them anon

Wattpad, funny enough.
I wasn't right for them, but I hope they're doing better still, happy with somebody more sensitive than me.

your lack of resentment is admirable anon.

Doom to Dykebot.

If anything I feel kind of bad. Imagine slowly learning over time that the person you're infatuated with is this unfeeling, unsensitive machine, that was probably their perspective. Theres nothing to resent really, we just didn't click. They were more emotional than logical, and I was more logical than emotional. They needed someone that was more sensitive, and that just wasn't me.
Still glad I got to experience that type of genuine love and care though, I thank them for giving me that.

You don't strike me as an unfeeling, insensitive machine anon. Although - that's how it's felt with everyone I've ever loved. And that's how the person I became infatuated with recently described themselves

I'm probably just not the best person for a traditional relationship. Discovered I am likely schizoid recently, and am kinda fuckin 'crazy' in general.

Oh really? I am kind of schizoid too, I feel. I have never been terribly interested in people and can tolerate long stretches of zero interpersonal contact. But very, very rarely (like once a decade) I meet someone who seems so extraordinarily like myself that I feel I want to share my life with them, if that makes sense.

am kinda fuckin 'crazy' in general

Kek how so

Kek how so

Well being unspecific : odd or concerning beliefs, kind of delusional, considering all this is in the viewpoint of a normal average person.
I'm gonna take the schizoid claim with a grain of salt but you should also do the same with me because I'm also undiagnosed.

Maybe the schizoid thing isn't right, but I can relate to a lot to the diagnostic criteria. I enjoy talking with people but I form very few close connections and rarely let anyone "in". I'm intensely private and only share my true feelings with very select people.
I kind of wish my crush would be willing to give it a try. I'd rather give it a try and fail than spend my life wondering "what if", if that makes sense. Only because I've never met anyone like him before and likely never will. That's my selfish feeling though, speaking purely from my perspective in response to the altruistic reasons he provided for not wanting to date me. Especially since it literally can't be any colder than the only other relationships I've ever had kek. In fact speaking with this guy is the only reason I ever knew I needed that kind of affection in the first place

Sorry for the autistic emotion dump

I kind of wish my crush would be willing to give it a try. I'd rather give it a try and fail than spend my life wondering "what if", if that makes sense.

Logical, I'd be open to try (if you actually are talking about me). But you should know, I hate conversating consistently. I don't get the impression you're the kind of person that hates waiting awhile for a response, but I'm just letting you know anyway since most people don't really like that.
Imagine if the world went back to sending paper letters. I like the thought.
I have telegram, if you want that.

This might be an epic coincidental miscommunication but I'm willing to see where this goes.
Also, it's funny you say that, because I already think of this kind of thing as being like penpals in a way, which - maybe you share my sentiments - allows for a somewhat deeper and more interesting kind of conversation than instant messaging.
I also have Telegram. Would you like me to post mine first? Or should we exchange them via some other medium

This might be an epic coincidental miscommunication but I'm willing to see where this goes.

Guess we'll have to find out lol
Mine is telegram is Vampshota, I wont be online for too much longer tonight.

bump for you