The simple fact is, I'm a failed male

The simple fact is, I'm a failed male.

I'm not dominant, I'm not competitive, I have never felt "manly". I'm much more comfortable being submissive and following a real man. I've always preferred the company of men, and even though I thought I was straight I eventually realised I was just in love with the idea of a typical romance. I've already sucked cock, I've already had a man cum in my ass, I liked it, I want to do it again. I know I'm a freak, I know I'll always be an outcast, I don't care. I'm doing what makes me happy.

I want to bareback you so bad :3

crona we all know you're just a little bottom as well

I've already sucked cock, I've already had a man cum in my ass

Describe in detail how this made you feel before, during and after the acts.

I'm not dominant, I'm not competitive, I have never felt "manly".

This is me.

I've always preferred the company of men, and even though I thought I was straight I eventually realised I was just in love with the idea of a typical romance. I've already sucked cock, I've already had a man cum in my ass, I liked it, I want to do it again.

This is not me, I'm a zero on the Kinsey scale.

I know I'm a freak, I know I'll always be an outcast, I don't care. I'm doing what makes me happy.

This is also me. I hope I find a woman who's into a very smart but "feminine" guy and wants a family, but until then there's always my hand and hentai.

Not him but I've sucked and bottomed for at least 4 different black men and everytime i do i feel an exploding warmth of BBC meat in my holes that make me feel so full

before

I wasn't really nervous, we'd spent 2 weeks talking so I felt like I already knew him when we met for the first time in-person and I had his cock in my mouth within an hour. We did anal the same day too. I had a mindset of "well let's just play it by ear and see where things go", I didn't want to get my hopes up but I was excited about it.

during

Cocks are surprisingly heavy and rigid, I was expecting something a bit more squishy I guess but it's like a flesh rod. Once I got over my intial clumsiness and got into it it was really hot. I was leaking precum onto the sheets the whole time I was sucking him off. And when he came I swallowed it and licked his head clean. Then he had a rest for a while and he wanted to fuck me. It was slow going at first because you have to really concentrate on relaxing your asshole and even then it was a bit painful going in. But he just let his cock sit there in my ass for a while and I eventually relaxed enough to where he could start fucking me for real. He came in my ass after like 3 minutes. Once we were fully into it I really felt horny and he had to tell me to stop pushing back against his cock lol, ruining his rhythm I guess. I felt so submissive, my back arched, my legs spread wide, all I could hear was *PLAP* *PLAP* *PLAP* and then he squeezed my ass cheeks so hard it hurt while he came.

after

I felt desired for the first time in my life. It just felt right. It felt like I finally found out who I am.

At least you know your place sissy.
You're a total bottom and you know it. We can frot but after that I'm fucking that ass of yours.

Thank you for the detailed response, it's more than I hoped for.
Did you have any negative feelings at any point? Shame? Regret?

But he just let his cock sit there in my ass for a while

How does this feel btw? Does cock feel hot (as in warm) when it's inside?

Once we were fully into it I really felt horny and he had to tell me to stop pushing back against his cock lol, ruining his rhythm I guess. I felt so submissive, my back arched, my legs spread wide, all I could hear was *PLAP* *PLAP* *PLAP*

Holy shit that's so hot. I'd have let you push back against me as much as you wanted.