Personal survey

My standards are incredibly high, how dare you suggest otherwise and BPD is one of those standards.

A little self-harm threat and abuse is okay, as a treat, so that I can quickly shut it down and just help her get her emotions out.

Does she take drugs? If yes than no.

no crying is enough for her and she calms down when you soothe her

no no drugs or alcohol or weird substances

I have dated quite a few and will never date one again, especially long distance. They managed to single-handedly suck all of the energy out of me and drive me to the brink of suicide. It's a constant bombardment of insane behavior followed by a million apologies and self deprecation.
I never understood when they said that NPD men are perfect for BPD women, but now I do, because I don't have the heart to end things with them, especially when they constantly guilt trip me. I'm too weak and care too much about them so I always end up getting abused and hurt non-stop. I think NPD men are capable of keeping them in check because they don't care about them as much. I feel extremely bad for BPD women as 60-70% of them try and commit suicide, often around age 30.

sorry won't do it again x

wake up with a horrible hangover

open the last leftover beer while laying down and trying to come to senses

stomach rumbles

quickly take a look around the room and check internet history

roll up a ciggy while trying to keep the flood gates closed

sprint into the bathroom

open door and switch the lights on

toilet gf is just staring there

eyes are that insanely agravating mix of disappointed and annoyed

"you said you weren't gonna drink anymore"

sigh audibly and sit on her porcelain thighs with your beer fattened ass

"listen we need to tal-"

explode out your ass cutting off her whining

a couple bursts of dagen efter diarrhea shut her up for a while

"eww, please anon stop"

drop the last couple logs into her

tell her to wipe and shut up

light up a ciggy while she does her job

stare into nothing and nod out

toss the cigarette but on top of the shit pile you created

tease her with the idea of leaving her as is for the time being for being a bitch

she drops a few desperate tears

kiss her and press the flushing button

caress her cheek and give her a last quick peck on the cheek before going back onto the computer

I wish i had a toilet gf.

You are fucking dumb, OP. Im talking pants on head while sucking on your thumb dumb

t. Had BPD gf

i know i can't help it but i'm trying to be better

I have dated quite a few

No u didnt

t. Had BPD gf

No u didnt

bpd gf ? (no suicide or self-harm threats + not abusive)

so its not actually bpd you just want a fuckable walking meme that wont leave you

idk i've been accused of having it i'm not actually diagnosed

I don't wanna deal with erratic people in my free time to the point of not being able to sleep and relax properly.
I dated insecure women before, so did my best friend, and getting called 50x a night while you're asleep telling you they'll kill themselves, then changing their mood from suicidal to fine and back and forth all the time is just exhausting.
Insecurities like jealousy and poor self image just aren't worth dealing with, there is no good enough return to justify it. You can't even have proper friends or hobbies, because it always requires some sort of explanation.
So, no, I wouldn't date someone with bpd.
It's fine to feel bad and need reassurance sometimes, but you shouldn't be an on demand therapist on the daily when the primary focus of a relationship is to make each ofher happier.

Dated one for a couple years. My conclusion is that if she's always loyal, always honest, and doesn't chase attention on the internet, then I can handle it. I love the mania, hate the depressions.

accused? what the hell lol
personally i dont believe in self diagnosis, its dangerous because you dont know how much you dont know, so you could possibly fall into the belief youre dealing with something thats not there at all, which would make you ignore the real problem if there was one, and this could lead to some harmful self medication practices. experts are experts, even if capable of human error.

I had a bpd gf once and I think I did most things right as I don't remember threats or abuse but she did cheat on me thinking I would forgive her so I don't know if I did anything right desu.
My problem with bpd is cheating. I don't think that can be managed or solved.

you're right

and honestly i don't 100% believe i have it either but he keeps telling me

i just had a bad period that's all

I don't know what bps gf means because every person says a different thing

your opinion is ten times as important as his, dont buy his crap. you know you best. do you go to therapy? you might need it.

i went for a bit last year but stopped cuz it's too expensive and also i hate talking about my issues

your thread loses its oomph when you realize, just like chad, anon doesn't have to catch feelings either

what is an oomph

too expensive

maybe so, but if its a necessity then the cost is the least important. do you think you need it?

hate talking

sorry to say this but often the only way out is through. better sooner than later so you can move on to nicer shit asap right?

do you think you need it?

i'm not sure, i think i can deal with it by myself for a while. i'm not doing all that bad

better sooner than later so you can move on to nicer shit asap right?

i suppose so

you're very nice anon

well your post worries me sincerely. i dated a guy with anxiety depression and bpd (and im pretty sure body dismorphia too but lets not get into that) and id really pity anyone who fell on such a hole, either the mentally ill or their loved ones.
i miss him a lot and he tries to contact me every day through different crazy means, but he hurt me so much i really shouldnt go back.
anyway, "by yourself" is a choice nobodys asking you to make. nobodys up in the afterlife tallying all that effort you go through to be fine as if the reward was sweeter at the end. there is no reward, just make it easier for yourself and cut the bullshit you really dont need.

anyway, "by yourself" is a choice nobodys asking you to make. nobodys up in the afterlife tallying all that effort you go through to be fine as if the reward was sweeter at the end. there is no reward, just make it easier for yourself and cut the bullshit you really dont need.

i guess that's true, but i don't really want to burden anybody with my shit
also it's not like they are some super complex issues, i can figure out my feelings and how to fix them pretty easily, i just choose the easy way out a lot of times

Probably not.
I have seen how bad it can get.
My ex definitely had some similar undiagnosed mental disorders on top of her diagnosed ones. She hurt me a lot emotionally and when I later talked about it woth others, they said she was abusive.
Then I met another woman who just recently got diagnosed with it and she had a breakdown when we stopped talking. It was nothing bad on my end and she hasn't done anything to hurt me, but her condition made her feel hurt and do things without being able to think clearly in the moment. I hope she can get that under control, because she already had it hard enough.

Going through this right now

Absolutely insane how they just flip a switch and you no longer exist. I really need to stop talking to BPD women because it's always the fucking same thing.

They crash out on the way out too, every single bpd bitch I've been with has accused me of bullshit after they fucked up

I used to be a cluster B chick magnet, and I've got war stories from it. I'm not sure how much more suffering I could take from those types, but one that's self aware about it might work out for a while.

(no suicide or self-harm threats + not abusive)

yeah in this case, they likely don't have it in the first place.

Tell those stories anon.

they can be long, which did you wanna hear first?

2 year relationship that got ended by her cheating, then coming to me with how to cope that she cheated.

cousin's friend that snuck in my room unwarranted so she could throw herself at me, then proceeded to throw rape accusations when we got caught.

platonic friend who was genuinely obsessed with me in highschool and practically conjoined herself to me by the hip.

i wouldn't
i usually underestimate how much i can tolerate women since i never talk to them but whenever i see a slut posting deranged shit on social media i get a headache and realize if she was my gf i would wanna kms

literally not a burden mama. problems are the only thing we got, if they didnt exist what would we do to live? arent people giving themselves problems all the time just to have something to do? your problems are not for you alone to bear.

cousin's friend that snuck in my room unwarranted so she could throw herself at me, then proceeded to throw rape accusations when we got caught

This sounds like a riot. And i'm sorry you had to go through that.

it's fine now honestly, I just wish that she could have been more honest to both herself and everyone else with what she wanted out of me. if she had been, I'm sure it would have never spiraled out of control the way it did. for me at the time, I thought my life was over. it took me alot of time to get over it and to start feeling comfortable talking to women again, especially considering every significant woman in my life at the time treated it like a cruel joke. though in retrospect, this was probably due to how unbelievable the accusation was in itself.

If she's okay with my bpd then I'm okay with hers. I'm really not too bad I just have a mean mouth and my solution (shutting up) doesn't always work.

It would feel nice to be needed, but otherwise probably not. I'm not built for head games, I'm quite naive and overly trusting so it would fuck with me.

(no suicide or self-harm threats + not abusive)

i mean this is just essentially impossible
sure, a bpd who isn't abusive, cheating, gaslighting, drama making up etc would be fine
but it's exceptionally unlikely
why is she dressing up as a toilet when she has a mouth, she isn't even trying baka

I did it once but I wouldn't do it again.
Even during one of her "good" phases, she still did everything she could to alienate me from all my friends and hobbies and basically everything that wasn't just giving her attention 24/7.
I still miss her though.

i miss him a lot and he tries to contact me every day

actually every day or like "once a month or once every few months"?
though it's unlikely you're my waifu anyway because i am unaware of hurting her in any way and would not want to do that, but if you million to one are her you should come back to me and talk >:|

things I have done this week so far:

got aggro and accused bf of stealing password book (it fell behind couch)

begged him not to leave me about 438 times

fucked him 3x a day

started beef with neighbor for absolutely no reason

broke a promise about going somewhere but made him comfort me for it

feels good man

you are so lucky and blessed that he accepts you i get clingy for a little and get broken up with

enjoy it

You are not her ex.

by the way if anyone else wanted me to talk about these experiences I'm still here, it helps me out a little bit.
how clingy is a little clingy?

how clingy is a little clingy?

i admit that i was more than a little clingy but i wasn't mean about it or anything

eventually gave up and i just asked him to give me updates and tell me if he wasn't going to be able to talk but he still got mad at that

The issue is you think you need somebody to balance your crazy.
That's why you talk with somebody who is avoidant.
It will only make you worse.

I mean as long as you truly meant well, that's what matters. it seems more like a lack-of-communication issue leaning more on his part, so don't beat yourself up over it.

well i didn't know he was in the beginning, i definitely wouldn't have minded if he was clingier like i am

i know it's lack of communication and that's what drives me nuts

it's so easily fixable but he wants to break up instead

That's the thing though... you subconsciously knew.

Move on, find somebody better.
Avoidant people are walking garbage, actually human trash and not worth your time, regardless if you have bpd or something else
They will keep hurting partners through their lack of communication

it might be best for you to just take the loss on him, so you can put that energy into someone who would better receive or reciprocate it.
like he said, someone that could balance you out better might be the choice. be careful with avoidants though, it's a big hit or miss with them and I'm saying that as an avoidant myself.

Avoidant people are walking garbage, actually human trash

the majority of them are massively emotionally retarded and make it everyone else's problem, but I wouldn't go that far.

Avoidant people are walking garbage, actually human trash

kys. not our fault every time we get attatched we're thrown out. it's a literal coping mechanism

My bf isn't avoidant you dumbass he loves me and never plays games. He actually is an amazing source of comfort

every time we get attatched we're thrown out

This is how avoidants see things.
They knowingly hurt others and then still see themselves as the victim.

True, I meant the ones who force themselves into relationship.
If somebody is avoidant on their own, that's of course not an issue.

This is how avoidants see things.

no, that's how things are.
every time I put myself to engage with anyone, I get ghosted and forgotten.

They knowingly hurt others

the only one that gets hurt whenever I stop avoiding people is me, fuck you

whenever I stop avoiding people

You don't know what avoidant personality disorder means.
Google it.
You are confusing it with something else.

well if someone who is not avoidant genuinely loves you, you're essentially doing the thing that has caused you so much pain to them. how can you not feel bad ? either you don't actually like them, they don't like you or you're actually psychopathic

True, I meant the ones who force themselves into relationship.

yeah you're right about that then. the only proper way to do it when you know you're avoidant is to do it when you're ready.

You don't know what avoidant personality disorder means.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder
barendspsychology.com/coping-with-avoidant-personality-disorder/

you don't have something that matches what happens to you, stop being shy

kys

if someone who is not avoidant genuinely loves you

never happened yet, because it can't happen, because I'm the easiest to be dropped

This anon gets it.

Yes, hence why it's evil to subject others to you when you are avoidant.
I would say for friendship it's not as bad, but for romance...

you closed yourself because you got dropped, and now the fact that you're closed off is probably putting people off which makes you more closed off

it's a vicious cycle

But then you are not part of what we are talking about, right?
Have you ever been the bf or gf of somebody?

bpd

no suicide or self-harm threats + not abusive

Does not exist
My endeavors with bpds damaged me quite badly and I never want to go through something like that again, shits not romantic its traumatizing
Aside from being abusive, lying and cheating is also normal to them. Its just about the worst decision you could make

you gotta hold your head high anon. even if terrible shit has happened in the past, you have to at least try for yourself, otherwise you'll waste your own time the right person comes around. it just takes time anon, you can't follow the same protocol for every person.

I would say for friendship it's not as bad, but for romance...

friendships can be sprung up on you, especially if you're charismatic in any way. romance is downright awful because you're willingly and knowingly going in to that shit.

I feel like a clam that every time it opens up something stabs it. fuck this gay earth where everyone despises me