Clearly the fact that you even have the preconception of white men oppressing you
It's hard to think like that when I'm also a white man. I can recognize social issues without feeling personally attacked because I'm not insecure about my status, nor hateful against people who are different from me.
There is clearly a status of oppression where men occupy the highest step in some areas, like political and economic power. That's not to say that men are not underprivileged in other areas, like paternity disputes, because the reality is way more nuanced than what you believe.
I just want you to address what are the brutalizing hateful rhetorics that have men like you blowing their brains
And after that I want you to think about the hateful rhetorics against other groups which also make them blow their brains.
Most white men I know
That's very anecdotal. Most white men I know are dating their girlfriends. Your biases come into play here, when most of your friends think/behave like you, congregating in incel hotspots.
Most people I know are working 2 jobs, including the women I know. That's not at all some gender specific issue.
Everybody's just as fucked
Then why are you so triggered by the mention of equality?