Are men incapable of genuinely loving a woman? as in...

without her needing to change anything about herself

Why are women so opposed to growth and character development? No, you're not good enough, you're not supposed to stay still and never mature, grow the fuck up, foids. It's not cute.

My dude, I'm in a fantastic mood. This is one of the best, if not THE best thread ever made, and I'd even go so far as calling it the biggest thread of all time. I can't wait for the screencaps of this!

kind of the same thing he says... "you're gonna change anyway" so might as well do it in a way that benefits him i guess?
i'd just assume that it you love someone, you wouldn't feel the need to interfere in their evolution and be the one manipulating them, but rather just seeing what they become, because that's how i feel about my partner
plus, i've seen too many times men try to change their gf just to leave them for someone who's naturally like that after a while, that's what scares me

There are always deal breakers, cheating substance abuse, some times you just have to move on.

but rather just seeing what they become, because that's how i feel about my partner

You're supposed to change together, dumb foid. Yes, you change for your partner and become a better partner for them, and cater to their needs and wants. "I just want to see what he becomes" is retarded. What if he becomes a lazy jobless drug-addict? You don't want to intervene for what's good for him? Would that be too MaNiPuLaTiNg? Grow tf up

Men aren't incapable it's women who always treat each other higher than everyone else

i feel like it's not the same thing though, obviously if i get obese, comments about me getting back in shape should be expected, but comments about hair color, makeup, dress style, body hair, i understand less... isn't that part of what attracts you to a person? why would you try to change that?

When i was younger and more delusional yeah. As u got older i realised that at best you can have a foid that is not a burden and virgin and at worst you can have a used up hole that expects the world and offers nothing in return. Society has convinced women they are the prize and so a true partnership is unrealisable in 2025. Anyway i could never truly love or commit to a non virgin and at my age there are no virgins.

Men won't even love you if you were a virgin they'll always cheat on you with a child. ALL men are pedophiles. I hate myself for being heterosexual.

Literally this. What is the point of being attracted to males when they're just going to default to fucking children at any given chance

Roasties acting like they are any different is hilarious. Women dont love men they are evil creatures who see men as pawns. Women perceive men as like pokemon that they use to battle each other. Women arent ever secretive about their hetero relationships cause the point of their hetero relationships is to show up other women. Like teehee my bf is better than yours hes taller etc. Women are always on the lookout to upgrade to something better. Taller, richer handsomer etc. this is all a game for them. Why should men even be surprised. Women boldly state this all the time.

obviously if i get obese, comments about me getting back in shape should be expected

Haha, if only

but comments about hair color, makeup, dress style, body hair, i understand less...

Those are all just things that are part of variety, it's not like you can't change your makeup, clothes and even body hair and hair color the next day. Like, this isn't even "change" it's just "wouldn't it be cool if you dressed like this once in a while"?
Jesus, foids are a mess. Like damn I can wear a dress shirt and tie and a vest to make my girl wet if she wants, and still wear pajama pants and a t-shirt the next day.

very superficial women, yes, but i'm not talking about superficial women and superficial men right now, i'm talking about deep and loving bonds between two people... or are you implying all men and all women are superficial and two people will never just love eachother for what they are?

All women are very superficial and never love, yes.

yeah, maybe it is just me being sensitive, maybe it's because i just care about my appearance a lot, but for me, the way that i look is a calculated and thought out thing, so i can't help but take it a bit personally when someone asks me to change
wouldn't you also wonder why your gf doesn't just find someone who dresses in dress shirts instead of making you change out of what's comfortable for you? wouldn't you feel like maybe she settled and is trying to cope?

i understand what might make you say this, but i also think it speaks more to your experience than anything else

silly opinion, i hope you'll meet someone who will make you realise you're wrong

have any of you ever found a woman you genuinely loved and were willing to stay with without her needing to change anything about herself

yeah. then i realized that i was a gullible fucking retard and that they dont deserve that until they prove it, otherwise theyll walk all over you. i say this but im still too much of a naive retard who cant help but try to find the best in someone

Everyone is superficial. Women more than men. Women always complain about superficial shit on the internet. My bf dont buy me flowers etc. men rarely do the same

wouldn't you also wonder why your gf doesn't just find someone who dresses in dress shirts instead of making you change out of what's comfortable for you?

I mean, no. It's literally just clothes. You change in and out of them. It's literally nothing. Holy shit, foids are so insecure to the point of comedic insanity.

wouldn't you feel like maybe she settled and is trying to cope?

By dressing me in clothes she thinks make me look sexy and look good on me? Lmao, no. You are so fucking weird. Maybe this is a foreign concept for femoids, but I ENJOY MAKING MY PARTNER HAPPY AND ATTRACTED TO ME

My literal only requirement is to not be fat, not deformed, and be a virgin. That's it. You can wear whatever the fuck you want, hangout with your friends all you want, I don't fucking care as long as you aren't out cheating. Apparently, that's too much to ask, though.

Not a foid, but desperation isn't love

unfortunate, it's like i said earlier, seems like people who love unconditionally never get the feeling reciprocated
i don't think i'm representative of all foids, i do have really bad self-esteem issues and i can acknowledge it plays a massive part in me feeling hurt by it, but the thing is, i love my boyfriend as he is and i don't feel the need to suggest he try to look any different, so why does he?
it's not bad to have standards, i feel like this mindset will set you up to be with someone you try to change eventually as well.... you'll get with someone and be really happy initially but slowly realize that person doesn't actually fit your tastes, then you'll either try to change them or just leave them for someone else

Ignore him. He calls everything bait.

love unconditionally because i know what its like to not feel loved because of something superficial

get taken advantage of

every single time but i guess thats just the way i am at the end of the day.

i don't think i'm representative of all foids, i do have really bad self-esteem issues and i can acknowledge it plays a massive part in me feeling hurt by it,

Having really bad self-esteem is representative of all foids. The only way you stick out is that you can actually (somewhat) acknowledge that it's your own self-esteem issues making yourself feel bad. Hurting your own feelings. That's not a very common level of self-awareness for foids, most of whom are barely sentient. And yet you still can't get yourself over this hump of thinking UR FEELS is REELZ

but the thing is, i love my boyfriend as he is and i don't feel the need to suggest he try to look any different, so why does he?

Because you're not good enough and never will be, get over it. Maybe you SHOULD guide your boyfriend to look better, maybe it would be good for him. Maybe if you really loved him you would want him to present his best self and put his best foot forward in life. Do you ever think about that?

i guess i'm just too autistic to see anything wrong with the way he is... i don't like or abide by societal norms, i don't pay attention to other people, i'm a foid so i don't know anything about male fashion, i just like my boyfriend, doesn't matter if he has long or short hair, if he wears jewelry or not, i like him as he is and i wouldn't know how to change him to be "better"
when we first met, i told him i have a preference for things that are natural, so he did let his hair grow out, which makes me feel really hypocritical for getting so emotional about it whenever he asks me to try a certain hair color or shave my body hair, but i still rationalize it by saying that my comment was trying to make him be more natural to the way he is whereas his comments are trying to make me more artificial (although obviously other people might not think that's valid and see it as a cope on my part, which it very probably is)
and yeah, all foids have self-esteem issues, but mine are especially bad, as a teenager, i used to cry whenever i accidentally saw my reflection in public, so i think i'm a bit more insane than others when it comes to this stuff

shave my body hair

Lame. Hairy foid is best foid.

i used to cry whenever i accidentally saw my reflection in public,

That's hilarious and cute, but exactly how ugly are you, then?

That's because men are incapable of love. All they do is lust, which they think is love but isn't.

i don't know, i think, if i'm being as rational as i can be, that i'm probably a bit below average? obviously i feel horrendous most of the time, but other people don't seem to mind the way that i look, so i'm not ugly enough to be ostracized at least
i do put a lot of effort into my appearance and i try finding what's most flattering and comfortable for me, but i'd say i'm far from being conventionally attractive because of my facial features and body type

my gf tried to get back together after i broke up with her

i've also thought that at some point, and i still wonder sometimes, but i don't think it's true

im just hoping to find that person one day. i wonder how does it feel to be loved romantically.

i hope i have found that person, and i don't want anyone else, which is why i wonder if this is just how men love or if he doesn't really love me :<

This is exactly how I feel about women desu, can't even be mad at you for asking. I personally blame feminism for teaching kids "men and women are basically the same" and causing people to get mad when the other gender doesn't act in a way that they can understand.

A lot of men do only see women as being useful for sex honestly, though a lot of women don't have anything to offer men other than sex either

what do you mean? do you mind describing your interactions with that person? i can give you feedback based on what my hopelessly romantic moid brain thinks

i can agree with you on those two points, but i've seen a lot of men say they loved a woman or got their heart broken by a woman and i just wonder how real that feeling is/if it implies the same thing to men that it does for me

Who knows?

Like I said I do find a lot of behavior from other men digusting but women are also pretty useless in my personal experience so I don't blame them too much. Maybe your boyfriend has a similar mentality. This is really something you need to figure out for yourself, though I would say that if your boyfriend openly criticizes your looks that's very socially unaware at best

it's basically just the comments about my appearance, but it feels like it's becoming so frequent lately
a couple of weeks ago he noticed the peach fuzz on my face and said he doesn't like it, then it was my arm hair, then he said he'd want me to wear colored contact lenses sometimes, and today i commented on how i'm glad i look skinnier but i'd still want to lose a bit more weight, and he said "you're already a bit too skinny for me"
this is on top of more comments of the same genre like "would you wear fangs for me?" "would you ever dye your hair white?" and more than he's said over the course of us being together
i know the comments themselves aren't really criticism (other than the body hair thing, which he genuinely doesn't like), but it just feels like he might not like the way i look and so i wonder if he actually loves me or just settled for me

i'm the same anon that asked you to elaborate, but... do you mind if i give you my honest opinion?

i don't think so, or if he does, he doesn't feel that way about me
we started talking online before he knew how i looked and i feel like he doesn't have an issue with my personality (other than my self-esteem issues), i've also had a talk with him about this, but he thinks i'm being too sensitive and taking things the wrong way
he insists he loves me and doesn't have a problem with how i look/just wants me to try things from time to time, but some of the comments he's made + the fact i'm not what he declared as his type really makes me wonder
i had a friend be in a relationship with a guy for over two years just for him to tell her "i thought i loved you but i actually don't" and break up with her, so i'm scared maybe my boyfriend just doesn't really know what love is and assumes what he feels for me is it because of lack of experience

of course, i wouldn't be talking about this if i didn't want people's input

ok i'm gonna break it down into pieces

we started talking online before he knew how i looked and i feel like he doesn't have an issue with my personalit

ok, this is actually nice. now i'd recommend you to ask yourself, does he "tolerate" you? or does he "like" you? there's a big difference, and both share the same premise: he doesn't have an issue with your personality.

the fact i'm not what he declared as his type really makes me wonder

now, this time, i need you to ask yourself: are you a gullible person? considering your doubts, i'd say this is not your first rodeo, and maybe you struggle with low self esteem and some other problems. as such, you're easily manipulated, even if you don't think you are. he has stated you are not his type, so he wants you to become his type by shaping / changing what you are. i'd be interested in knowing what kind of comments he's made.

"i thought i loved you but i actually don't"

this is just yapping for "i wanted to have fun for a while, but i needed to trick you to get in your pants".

i guess i can't be sure about the first point, sometimes he seems to genuinely like me, sometimes i think i get on his nerves, so only he can really know how those two balance out
second, i definitely am gullible but i try not to be, that's why i'm a little bit paranoid about this situation, because i'd be destroyed if it turns out he doesn't love me and he leaves me... i've talked about the comments he's made in some prior replies if you're curious
and lastly, yeah, very probably, but it was the guy's first relationship so maybe there was some truth to it? i don't know

i guess i can't be sure about the first point, sometimes he seems to genuinely like me, sometimes i think i get on his nerves, so only he can really know how those two balance out

how do you get on his nerves? has he been open about those times you have?

second, i definitely am gullible but i try not to be, that's why i'm a little bit paranoid about this situation, because i'd be destroyed if it turns out he doesn't love me and he leaves me... i've talked about the comments he's made in some prior replies if you're curious

is it this guys' first relationship? also, he's remarkably made some comments about your appearance, things that you can't really change about yourself, like eye color, and things you can change, like your weight. so it's all over the place... how did you meet this person? how old are you both, if i can ask?

and lastly, yeah, very probably, but it was the guy's first relationship so maybe there was some truth to it? i don't know

don't be naive. a person that truly cares about his partner or friend wouldn't lead them on for a big amount of time.

1. yes, he's autistic so if i annoy him it's very obvious, he won't insult me or anything, it'll just be clear i've made him upset
2. it's not, he's been in two (online) relationships before, but both were with bpds and lasted less than a year... we met on here almost two years ago now, both in our early 20s, and we've been seeing eachother irl for almost a year

1. yes, he's autistic so if i annoy him it's very obvious, he won't insult me or anything, it'll just be clear i've made him upset

this can sound cute and all, but pouting isn't exactly an adult like behavior. you need him to be open about it, autistic people have an easier time being blunt so don't take it as an excuse to just act like a brat.

2. it's not, he's been in two (online) relationships before, but both were with bpds and lasted less than a year... we met on here almost two years ago now, both in our early 20s, and we've been seeing eachother irl for almost a year

two online relationships? with bpd people? ok, listen, people with bpd are a huuuuuuuuge amount of work. talking to them is like walking on eggshells all the time, so maybe i can understand a little bit why he prefers to pout instead of being open, so you'll need to work on that. i'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, because getting involved with bpd people exclusively is a bit suspicious because they're also easier to manipulate, but... you know. also, if you can, it would be nice to know what kind of content did he use to post on this board or wherever. they say people truly speak their minds while they're behind a mask.

seeing each other for almost a year

that's cool. do you have a plan? in the sense of, having a steady income of money for the future, or plans around that
now, if the body comments are making you feel nervous, then talk to him about it. tell him this is not making you feel comfortable and you feel like you're not desired the way you are right now. and

he thinks i'm being too sensitive and taking things the wrong way

this is just straight dismissing your feelings. sensitive or not, it's you. you feel that way and that's the end of it. he has to do something about it

1. yeah, i didn't mean to imply he pouts, he'll just lash out somehow in the moment, his tone of voice will be rough and he'll say whatever he needs from me (as in to stop bothering him if he's busy) but it usually passes quickly
2. from what he's said, he moreso lurked than anything else, and he spent more time on x than r9k
3. yes, neither of us are neets and we planned out a decent bit of our near future together, so unless he realizes he doesn't wanna be with me, everything should be fine
4. and yeah, regarding the talk i had with him about this, it basically ended with me telling him that, yes, i am overly sensitive when it comes to this stuff, but if it's that big of a problem for him right now, maybe he should find someone who's not as sensitive (obviously though, i didn't outright refuse to change or to work on myself to be less sensitive, i have said multiple times it's one of my biggest struggles and i feel i'm much better than i used to be, it's just that if my progress seems insufficient or too slow, then he should walk away)

he'll say whatever he needs from me

doesn't sound that bad, now consider this your daily routine. is this how you'd like things to go? i'm not pushing you towards any direction in particular, i'm just asking you if you think this behavior is acceptable.

from what he's said, he moreso lurked than anything else, and he spent more time on x than r9k

hehe x is more useful for coomers anyway

yes, neither of us are neets and we planned out a decent bit of our near future together,

this is very nice :) good job

yes, i am overly sensitive when it comes to this stuff, but if it's that big of a problem for him right now, maybe he should find someone who's not as sensitive

what was his answer / reaction? did he say anything?

i have said multiple times it's one of my biggest struggles and i feel i'm much better than i used to be, it's just that if my progress seems insufficient or too slow, then he should walk away

dealing with insecurities is not easy, and body dysmorphia can be absolute hell. you need someone to work with you through this, for you to reach whatever body YOU want to have, you don't need someone to be burdening you with more expectations. what would he do if you asked him to get abs and, i dont know, change his nose shape?

youtube.com/watch?v=B2nCugGQZO0&pp=ygUZc2hpcCBvZiBmb29scyB3b3JsZCBwYXJ0eQ==

1. honestly, i don't really mind it that much, i can usually recognize when it's my own fault, and if it's his, he'll apologize for his short temper and i'll forgive him, we're only human after all
2. ;-;
3. thank you! :3
4. no, he just said that's silly and that he loves me if i remember correctly, but i think he was genuinely giving it thought maybe?
5. he says he wouldn't mind, but i'd never do that to him so i guess we'll never find out.... and yeah, i wouldn't say it holds me back, but it's definitely not helpful to feel like my aesthetic goals go against my bf's preferences :/ i'd be willing to make a lot of compromises for him, and i already have, i just wonder if it's even worth it if he ends up leaving me after realizing he'd rather be with someone he finds more physically attractive

1. honestly, i don't really mind it that much, i can usually recognize when it's my own fault, and if it's his, he'll apologize for his short temper and i'll forgive him, we're only human after all

that's okay. so this is more or less closed

2. ;-;

is your bf a coomer? or was he?

3. thank you! :3

[crow of approval]

4. no, he just said that's silly and that he loves me if i remember correctly, but i think he was genuinely giving it thought maybe?

when did this happen? have you noticed any changes in his behavior or expectations?

5. he says he wouldn't mind, but i'd never do that to him so i guess we'll never find out.... and yeah, i wouldn't say it holds me back, but it's definitely not helpful to feel like my aesthetic goals go against my bf's preferences :/ i'd be willing to make a lot of compromises for him, and i already have, i just wonder if it's even worth it if he ends up leaving me after realizing he'd rather be with someone he finds more physically attractive

sadly for you, and for almost anyone in a relationship, it's really hard to know if your boyfriend / girlfriend would leave you for someone more attractive than you. that's why it's important he isn't tolerating, but actively liking your personality. same goes for you; if you feel like he's not being open enough, honest enough, he's not giving you enough time, you have to fix those as soon as possible, so you don't resent each other. remember you'll potentially live with this person for decades. and, trust me, sometimes love isn't enough. it's sad, but you have to love and be willing to put efforts into your relationship, too.

he used to be a coomer, we actually had a bit of an issue regarding this like a month or something after we first met... i posted about it on here at the time, but he basically jerked off to an insta whore's picture, and i obviously took it horribly
regarding the talk, it happened like two or three days ago and i haven't noticed anything different, which includes him having made another comment about my appearance today
yeah, him and i try to be as open with eachother as possible, it's just that when it comes to stuff like this, it's basically his word (saying he loves me and that he's satisfied with me) against my fears (that he dislikes my looks and will leave me/start resenting me at some point), which is why i want other people's opinions on the situation
i don't really have any friends, or at least none i would feel comfortable talking to about this, so this is kind of the only place i can turn to

he used to be a coomer, we actually had a bit of an issue regarding this like a month or something after we first met... i posted about it on here at the time, but he basically jerked off to an insta whore's picture, and i obviously took it horribly

honestly, this is disgusting. i don't know if i would be able to be with a girl that did that thing, like, you know, reversing the genders

which includes him having made another comment about my appearance today

did you just get dismissed again?...

it's basically his word (saying he loves me and that he's satisfied with me) against my fears (that he dislikes my looks and will leave me/start resenting me at some point), which is why i want other people's opinions on the situation

ok, but then it's his words and his actions against your fears. he can say "i love you the way you are" then tell you "lose weight you fat shit".

i don't really have any friends

how come?

1. honestly, it was incredibly hard to get over, but i managed, i don't feel like killing myself over it anymore, although i still stalk that woman's account every once in a while
2. LOL maybe, like i said, he's autistic, so i think it genuinely just slipped out, and he realized afterwards what it sounded like
3. yeah, that's also the part i'm struggling with, i don't know how much of it is his actions and how much is just how i interpret them, because him saying "you're already a bit too skinny for me" might mean "i don't want you getting skinnier" but i'll interpret it as "i don't like your body"
4. just very shy, quite antisocial, and i'm also maybe autistic, women don't like me and men don't care much about me... i had a couple of friends back home, but i'm in a different place now to be with my boyfriend and they didn't seem interested in maintaining contact with me :/

i don't feel like killing myself over it anymore, although i still stalk that woman's account every once in a while

this doesn't sound healthy anon :( are you doing okay?

so i think it genuinely just slipped out

i think you doubt him, but at the same time you give him the benefit of the doubt very often.

because him saying "you're already a bit too skinny for me" might mean "i don't want you getting skinnier" but i'll interpret it as "i don't like your body"

i don't know how to word this reply, but i hope you can understand what i'm trying to convey.
- you can be exaggerating, and he is still dismissing you because he thinks you're making a big deal of something that isn't important to him but is important to you, even after you've made it pretty clear.
- this person used to coom to an instagram girl, and it's very, VERY hard for a man to mend the coomer ways. so unless you are really sure he doesn't do it anymore, i'd be inclined to think he has another instagram account or checks for girls somewhere else.
- he knows you are sensitive with your body and he still comments on it after all.
if i were in your shoes, i'd be thinking "this person wants me to look like the instagram girls she's looking at on the internet, and for now i'm the best girl that has given him any attention, so he's just trying to mold me and get the best out of it while he tolerates me". this is my low self esteem talking for me, but if i were you i'd desperately look for signs of him truly accepting you the way you are.

just very shy, quite antisocial, and i'm also maybe autistic, women don't like me and men don't care much about me...

sounds tough. i talk to people on these boards very often, made some friends here and there, you can find a nice pal once in a while too

1. i am, i am, just very prone to being depressed and stalking helps me cope for some reason
2. yeah :/ i'm obviously extremely insecure, but i try to fight it as much as i can, i just struggle with knowing when it's justified and when it's not, makes things a decent bit harder for me...
3. yeah, that's kind of spot on, other than his words and the fact he's my boyfriend, i don't know what "proof" i can get that he accepts me as i am
4. i don't come on here very often anymore, and i usually don't post much either, but you do seem very nice and i genuinely appreciate all of your replies, thank you anon

1. i am, i am, just very prone to being depressed and stalking helps me cope for some reason

okay

2. yeah :/ i'm obviously extremely insecure, but i try to fight it as much as i can, i just struggle with knowing when it's justified and when it's not, makes things a decent bit harder for me...

i can tell you, it's quite justified in this case. first, the instagram thing, and now the whole commenting on your body. your struggles are justified.

3. yeah, that's kind of spot on, other than his words and the fact he's my boyfriend, i don't know what "proof" i can get that he accepts me as i am

like i said, try to check if he still checks on instagram girls. also, from what you've said, pay special attention to the time he spends on the computer. you never know

4. i don't come on here very often anymore, and i usually don't post much either, but you do seem very nice and i genuinely appreciate all of your replies, thank you anon

that's nice. please don't come here more often, because after all, this is quite a bad place. and, i'm not nice, i'm just trying to give you my opinion on a topic that hurts me. i went through something similar, or rather, i am going through something similar. except this person didn't really comment on my body, but she made me feel like i was worthless person. it's a terrible feeling, and the sooner you can detect these situations, the better. now, and this is an unrelated advice: make friends. please do make friends, you're still in time. if you ever happen to fight with your boyfriend, you will need support. it'll help you endure bad moments and situations like these. you have had friends in the past, so i suppose you know what friends are like, but trust me. finding friends is hell after you turn 30.

i was worthless person

was A, yikes

thank you anon, i'll do my best to be careful, and i'm sorry to hear you're going through something similar, i hope you'll be out of that situation soon and feel more confident about your self-worth

thank you anon. please be careful. hopefully you'll do well enough so you won't have to come back to this place :)
have a nice night!!