Greggs edish
/britfeel/
Femarse
Never shit a gift horse in the arse me nan used to say
A cock in your hand is worth spunk in the face as my nan used to say.
How come greggs isnt popular outside the UK?
anxiety averted. thanks anon.
Not how pip works x
except he admitted as much here
let's call our child 'Dearball' honey
oh my god that's a great name
This is a conversation that happened
Because other countries in Europe have actual decent bakeries all over the place ran by locals with 10x more choice at a cheaper price.
Hate this country and every cunt in it x
Heard Zimlad's sprog is called Laquisha.
Could i huv wan o yr wee cakes x aye wee penguin one please xxx
i'm one of those guys who gets to say
i didn't watch Game of Thrones!!!
woo, get in.
but, surely there are now Daeneryses? walking and talking?
Stick this link in your favourites pal, saves you searching every time
Oh right,mmmmmm reindeer wan then
Yeah, I just had to bring some letters and me bank card in the appointment lasted about 45 minutes but that's only because I asked quite a few questions. Felt like I was in the heart of the enemy base like how Harry Wotter felt like when he was in the Ministry of Magic under the Voldermort regime. All went well anyway so can finally relax unless the DWP somehow mess things up on their end.
Hey spacker. Cant you read? We was talking about using microwaves and I mentioned that I dont like using them as I believe the give you turbo cancer. It got brought up in the PIP assessment and I simply told them I dont use microwaves and they was trying to get me to say yes to using one because the PIP assessors are cunts and try to trick you. Not an excuse not to use one. I simply wouldnt. Using a microwave makes the food taste like shit.
Mate if you was doing the PIP assessment you would have scored 12 points for not being able to read and understand basic written information.
in the heart of the enemy base
Lmao. Aye. Its quite intimidating. Uc isnt that bad desu. It sux to change it but once its done its not much different.
Remember the stupid jokes on the back of the wrapper? Good times.
Greggs is shit anyway, there's plenty of amazing ethnic food in this country that's so much better
"exposed to higher levels of anti-social behaviour"
Whitechapel
Peckham
Ilford
Quoted without further comment.
Welper has his UC back, crossy has his strawberries and DVDlad has his DVDs. A all is right in the world.
Don't call me a spacker. Nasty fucking prick. Faker autistic loves bullying real autistic lads
Skint to thursday HHL style
spacko attackio!
autistics always get wound up about who's the MOST autistic.
if anyone is into internet trolling, consider tinnitus. tinnitus claimants hate it when you point out that hearing ringing is normal, and 'tinnitus' isn't actually some problem.
Whitechapel, Peckham and Ilford
All ooga booga areas, what a surprise
I never had UC to begin with lid but at least it means I'll get the same amount of bennies when I officially switch over now that my identity is confirmed. The worst case scenario has been avoided thankfully.
cant believe they've retconned the sopranos to include apus
Calm down spacker.
Word to the wise, wemembah wearl warbour
Zimmy is more closely related to any random white person than his own child
Need HHL to get a job ASAP
Autistic only when it's convenient. Nasty lad loves bullying autistic lads. Word means nothing to him he was in his normie phase before 20. Never got called spacker in his life.
Mammy theyve no got any penguin wans left x
Lawl ive noticed u doing that before
Got double cream for them nstead of single today as well
Baynes aint too bad either
Reckon stepdad will inherit the house once mammy dies
Phimosis is gross and can be fixed easily. I had a woman say
"wow you've got a really nice cock, i've never been with a circumcised guy before"
but actually I just don't have phimosis I'm not circumcised
pretty sure under Scottish law it all goes to the spouse after death
I think I'll inherit a bit which will be fun but also very sad
Garn be some commotions this weekend
Wanna have sex with Ruth
We could be together by then and you wouldn't have to even think about money.
Wanna have sex with Laura
Wanna have sex with Sandra
This is a thing that I feel is quite unlikely to happen. Ruth goes for REAL men. Big men. Tough men. With big dicks. Not like you lad. You're infantile.
noticed you noticing.
hits the point where it breaks all barriers. postmodernism undoes itself.
Been on the lookout for the universal credit switchover myself. Helper any tips and anything to have prepared for it to go smoothly?
Better to have two cocks in a cunt than one in your arse
Dont call me a spacker. Nasty fucking prick. Faker autistic loves bullying real autistic ladsx
Just make sure you have all the right letters (wouncil tax, water bill, housing wenefit letter if you get it) and your bank card + something with your photo on like a driving licence or something and you're sound.
Looks like an oblivion 2006 NPC.
That a picture of you lad?
Not sure how I'm supposed to find a woman in this country. Englishwomen are as foreign to me as the swathes of Commonwealth darkies. Can't even go to SEA and find a cope wife because I'm exclusively attracted to white women.
Haha no lad. Im quoting the spacker who responded to me.
Arsehole like a gaping maw. Also why is she wearing gloves?
looks like Elon Musk mixed with Donald Trump
I know av got tinnitus bc i was playing miku project diva when it started,,on ps4 nd then after that night i couldnt play it for ages bc the ringing. However that only lasted few(long) months doesnt bother me now. That year 2022 was a lot of strange spiritual energy. nd a nexus of it in summer esp nd its like after my aunty died fings got weird nd i came to think of teh ringing like maybe some guardian angel like my aunty if i may say so. Am kinda suspicious on a physical basis that its caused by my impacted wisdom tooth tho but ive not got round to getting it out bc i hate dentist,maybe 1 day.
Phwoar have a sniff of that ya spacker
Gies a swatch o yr feet hen x
alexa, how do you cut a roller blind to size
alexa, spackersplain it for me
Sorry this is the best I've got
Brothers playing that Claire 33 game. Why 33? Why literally any other number? Cloak and dagger weirdos love the number 33. It gives them power somehow.
some ex-DWP guy on Anon Babble offered some sage wisdom to me once, but i can't find it.
Ay Tone, the Wumpa Wouncil is demanding a sit-down.
SSM at the stage where he can't go more than 48 hours without having a drink lmao. He'll go off the rails this summer.
Mind Russell Brand did a youtube video cus ppl kept asking about his 33 tattoo nd hes like that Oh its just blahblah its Jesus age nd its this n that n am like that aye very good.....................nd all his youtube videos n stuff have always had grim masonic shit all over them besides the tat
Started that about a week ago. It's very good.
It's a French JRPG. Wadda fucks gowan on 'ere den?
post a 90s piccy
Summer 25' garn be lush now that me UC is all sorted. Beers, bacon and benches coming on strong x
You should get an OLED telly, lad. Live it large and see your ASMR lassies with perfect blacks.
Selling all his items to pay for beer. Ckin ell lads. Dont you think somebody has to step in at some point?
OR. Is it all an act? Because alcoholism is an illness that you can claim PIP for because he knows hes fucked if that 4 point PIP rule comes in he is preparing. Thinking outside the box. Might be wrong or reading too much into it, hope I am.
you could work if you wanted to
Got Hungarian citizenship recently, been meaning to leave the UK and buy an apartment in Budapest, but whats the point. I am a miserable cunt, the country doesnt matter
I think you're right. Personally don't think you should get benefits because you're an alcoholic or drug addict but so many are and top rate at that.
5ft11
above average face
6.5"x5.3" penis
2.5" long testes
100k in the bank
Still think about killing myself every five minutes
How likely is it that HHL will ever live an independent life?
He's very independent already. More than a lot of us.
My 4K tv in the living room I bought back in 2018 is probably due to be replaced soon. Might get an OLED 4k TV in the Black Friday sales later this year. Already got that OLED laptop and it's a lush.
He'll be fucked anyway when Farage gets in
Nah he's just a fat idiot
Feel like I could slam a few weers now ffs
Nice wee wag in lid?
Had to hose my dog's arse again. Fuck sake. Poor fella.
Don't you wash your pet? I bathed my cat
Ppl always arguing more when its hot weather x
Tories taking a nosedive of a cliff in the polls.
Love to see it.
Just had a shave with an electric shaver. Its the future lads im telling you. Game changer.
I think if someone was to replace the tories and it was between LibDem and Reform, I'd probably pick Reform
I bathed my cat
That is such an upper middle class thing to do. Now you're going to tell us you didn't realise the vast majority of cats don't like to be bathed in fact they don't like water at all except for drinking it. Pampered, sheltered rich girl.
Based wemptationlid. Nah I'm fine thanks, been off the wrugs for nearly a month. No wags means more money for wiss ups and wakeaways.
Rather have a webab than a bag of wokey. Better for you anyway lad.
My cat loves it? Some cats dislike water because they originate from places without water, mine loves it, I even try to brush it's teeth with a cat toothbrush
Yeah but sometimes he gets constipated (he's old) and I have to hose his arse and pull it out.
Oh my grim. Sounds awful lad.
Even your cat is pampered and sheltered. Do you cut its nails as well?
True that lid. Lot cheaper too.
c'moon you greens...
Yuck, you should put him down if he's at an age where he can't be property cleaned
How else is my cat gonna cut it's nails?
They wear down naturally on the ground and by scratching things
Aye it is but he's not in pain and he's healthy otherwise.
Fuck off I'm not putting him down he's nowhere near at the end. He has very good quality of life and just has a bit of tummy trouble now and then. Dogs can get constipated just like humans. He don't get the cheap food either. Winalot for him de lid.
where you get good quality mens clothes from thats not fast fashion polyester crap?
Bloody hell. Your dogs on Winalot? Lucky lad. Thats like Tory food for dogs that is.
If you wanna keep pulling poop out of your dog's butt, you do you...?
Oh, well, I was thinking of declawing it, but I heard its bad.
Charity shops de lid. Got myself a cracking pair of Marks and Sparks linen trousers for a fiver. All old cunts with good gear die and it gets donated.
I was thinking of declawing it, but I heard its bad.
Kek
Love how Eva cuts you mongs off with a simple point she makes.
Kek. I get my t shirts from Asda living. 100% cotton. Has to be. No mixing of materials, its a sin. God himself said it when he spoke to Moses under the tabernacle.
You're pissing me off now wee lass. It's only every now and then. I'm not turd burgling my dog every day like a freak. God help your cat when he gets old if you'll just curb stomp the cunt at the first hurdle.
Yes it's bad. Should I get you declawed? you wouldn't like it, I can tell you were a scratcher and maybe even a biter.
yeh use to get some stuff from there but they not worth using now and lot of fakes off that vinted place
Uniqlo matey theres 1 opening in st enochs this year x
I bathed my cat
this is bait. do not succumb to temptation.
where you get good quality mens clothes from thats not fast fashion polyester crap?
why that's GILDAN basic cotton T-shirts, of course.
Cunts buying cheap Chinese fakes and scamming people on Vinted.
Me? Next 10 plain tshirts for whatever yhe fuck
he also said don't stuff your face with goyslop
What? I don't have claws, and I can bite my nail from time to time, but its usually a hangnail.
My cat is a girl, I'd never own a boy cat, they piss everywhere -- Plus, if she was in a state where she was dying, and in pain, she would run away and die at peace
just make shirts out of the same material as T-shirts so they don't crease
that's ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
why am i looking at paul smith jumpers for 225 quid when i could just get some metal band hoodies
You're a fucking mong. Didn't mind you before but you've proper sent me into a melty now.
I like the material football tops are made off. NO LINT.
Black and gold. Quite a nice jumper there lad.
Elen' sent SSM a tenner till Friday. It lush x
presently:
middling on eva-chan.
she's okay. i still feel bad since she has Asperger's and whatnot but she's also a fancy-pants hootin-tootin' hollerin' nanny y;all
What? Why would I own a thing that just goes around having sex with the local cats and just comes home to pee everywhere
That's his reward for licking 'elen's arsehole the other day. She loves a good tongue lashing from are Mark. He used to smell of shit so it don't bother him.
Elen gives mark pocket money.
Oh grim.
Having to ask yer partner for a tenner cuz your a skint fat loser would really sting.
Lucky are mark is dignity free all the way
Don't talk about Shippy like that.
Pickins are slim, but here I am in Binky 3: (1989) youtu.be
Earlier, around 4:00, I cut Mr. Pennis' wiener off, eat it, then throw up in the sink (while still digesting some.) After the travelling Jesus-lover asks about Mr. Pennis "Is he in?" My answer was supposed to be "In my bowels" but we fucked up editing it on our VHS equipment.
oh my goodness are you a girl? could i add you on MSN? what is your age? oh. no worries, haha. police? why w
Life's lush when you got no dignity. Oh aye. x
I think your name is in the beginning.
Lads.. hear me out.. Im thinking of downgrading to a single bed just to have more space in my room for my games. This is a bad idea isnt it? just want my games to be on display and not under the bed. What a conundrum.
Its honestly lovely
225 quid for a sodding jumper rather shit out me knees and fart thru me ribs
I only have a single bed but I'm a shortarse. You're a tall heavy fellow. I think it's a bad idea for you personally.
You do you but generally speaking a bigger bed is comfier. Especially if your a bigger lad
Get one of those race car beds
I do like my bed a lot. Spend 95% of the day in it. So its kind of a big deal.
Still mulling it over. Could have 4 ikea billys in my room if it do that.
Forgot I had first billing!
Love how I'm drinking (and spitting out?) a 2-liter Dr. Pepper while Voivod's "Blower" plays at 2:29
Dont think they make em for me in my size lad.
Not get some wall mounted storage up near the ceiling? Around where the coving is?
Fudge packer Keir Starmer
why would Rachel doxx herself like ths..
Have thought about that. But theres a higher risk of it a falling down. Not sure that is a good idea.
Aye I need to sort them billys out for myself. Getting a bit claustrophobic with the piles of DVDs. Sorting that new telly and blinds out this week first that's stressful enough. Might move my bed position.
You kind of remind me of the girl from the breakfast club, the popular one.
I predict that Airbnb will go bust this year.
As long as it's fixed properly it will never fall down.
can't fucking invest in ftse 500 stocks only allowed so much savings on disability, corrr gotta fucking waste it on paul smith 225 top
Keir Starmer went through a New Romantic phase in the mid 80s. Theres photos of him with his trendy haircut.
Wonder what would happen if a bunch of Muslim women just walked into a pub and ordered non-alcoholic drinks. There's literally nothing stopping them doing that but they never do. Their brothers, husbands ect.. would probably kick off about it I reckon.
wow, he looks like a tiktok fuckboy.
Almost relapsed by almost buying 2 bottles of wine, but I decided to put them back and bought some fruit pastilles instead. Absolutely lush. Life is better without the demon drink lads
What the fuck are these two bints on about?
Ha thats it. I could see the image in my mind but couldnt be bothered posting it.
Here's an inflatable racecar bed that's almost as tall as you are. Blow it up and place it in the center of your room at night, then when you're not sleeping, you can deflate it = even more room for Billys full of games.
amazon.co.uk
Fair play laddie. Good job.
of course you would. you're a sheltered little racist with a murderer for a dad lmao
canadian hacker and his bellend mates not shitposting here to wind me up anywhere, 4 times as lush corrrrrrr
Titfucking Anna Kendrick and exploding cum all over her rat face.
It's funny how weatherspoons specifically is a white pub. I mean pubs are generally white affairs anyway, but weatherspoons is literally 98% white wherever you go.
Reform kicking mental elf mongs off bennies
Oh. My. Lush. Its perfect. Going to order one right now. Thanks
Good to hear it de lad x
Reform not winning a general election a few years away. You're living in the clouds. Oh aye. x
Lad they've got a 7% lead on latest YouGov poll
2000s vibes in the air
youtube.com
Means fuck all unless it's close to an election. A lot can happen between now and then.
Only thing that will stop them at this point is Labour cutting net migration to below 100k
You really think Farage and his team of grifting fucks would do any better? They'd run the place into the ground whilst stealing what they can. Not saying Labour is perfect or anything but fuck me.
youtube.com
yankless might like this corrrrr
Despicable animals
Clubland era x
Occasional reminder inflation adjusted GDP per capita is lower now than in 2007 and falling
That's irrelevant. If Labour don't fix immigration then Reform win the next election, and the very first thing they'll do is massively cut down welfare because it's probably the easiest and least unpopular of their policies.
Ruth is not letting the Reform lads on campus plow her tuppence.
xcancel.com
luv me wife
luv engerland
luv ngubu
luv pints
hate forrunners
hate emmigrints
hate muslins
not raceist just don't like em
Quite funny how it'll be a lot of dosser scum voting them in when they'll lose out the most.
Brutal
Especially since today I've been playing nature sounds and a cello compilation for my houseplants.
How regular are your poos? What consistency? Any noticeable smell?
Nice casio ya nonce
Mouth surgically attached to Yanklass' arse to consume her pungent internal delicacies.
There is nothing more arousing than sucking on a rancid female fart straight from the source.
bit 'cursed', this video.
is Yanklass an ARG?
Chad won x
Poking my nose inside a lasses prolapsed arsehole and hotboxxing my senses with the pungent aroma of rotten eggs, decades old cum and rotting hemmerhoids.
I have haribo gold bears
Picking at my arsehole and then devouring the flakes.
Oh yesh x
lel
the shop was out of extra hot sriracha sauce
so now i just have normal sriracha sauce instead
;_;
sriracha is the most spice i can really handle maybe i can do birdseye peppers
Just paid my taxes. Dont say I dont pay into the pot.
Entering my decompression chamber after being inside Yanklass' arsehole huffing farts for too long.
love those, used to whizz up my own piri piri marinades. corr.
What you got coming? Anything SEXY?
It wasnt right,itsnot right,nothing will be right ever again xxxxxxxxxxxx
Are you a Hufflepuff?
I think I'm a ravenclaw, I don't remember.
Hello sir. Feeling a little sleepy? Can't be dropping off here in the lounge! You'll be right off to the land of nod after your evening tranquilizers, nice long sleep that way. Perhaps a spot of supper afterwards if you're feeling a bit peckish? There is a selection of sandwiches in the Common Room for you to nibble upon before its real bed time.
fucking HHL up the shitpipe while steve watches
woooww what an experience
woooowwww
I'm never going outside again.
Nuffin been the same since charlie chalks became brewsters
tranq sounds pretty good rn lad
Kylie Minogue was at Seaham beach today (just down the road) corr been there loads of times me.
Charlie Chalks oh aye, those were the days
I heard you do a few japseye poppers before taking it up the arse.
Picking at my moist scrotum and flicking the debris at the back of your fucking nan's head on the bus to town centre.
Just got a couple hundred quid windfall. Corrr will get me some nice 4K Blu-rays for me new telly. WAHEY!
tiny mong with a tiny brain and a tiny penis in an assisted living facilty
Virgin island on channel 4 again
Let's see what the fuss is about
Mother dearest. Charge my switch x
So do they shag on that or what
Me? Not a virgin. I shag regularly.
Dedicating this next wank to eva
Me? Virgin.
what is dvdlads thoughts on mubi?
What's the concept of this show?
After a mix-up at the Job Centre, I've been forced to move into a supported housing facility to keep my benefits...only to discover it's actually a specialist residence for men with clinically diagnosed micropenises
Appaz charlie chalks always was brewers fayre but charlie chalks was a wee bit attached on to that nstead of the other way about which is how it seemed back then. Then it got rebranded a lot heres one in inverness <<<<<<<<<<<
My fav soft play was Cocos in renfrew but u know its strange this was a place thousands of peeps went to over years but if you google it now,,nothing comes up except 1 guy on reddit asking if anyone remembers it. Pretty fucking liminal that places can just disappear.
At least w/ Santa Claus Land in Aviemore that i went wiv my mmy when i was very very small,, its sad that after it closed down it became a "urban exploration" place cus its so ruined nd overgrown now,, but at least ppl remember that it existed.
Another one is Little Chef.....................used to see that red sign everywhere
Ruthmong? Incel.
Just looked up the show Virgin Island. Funny how they're all just ugly. It's literally that simple. Just ugly people who no one wanted to shag because they're ugly. Thought it might have more to it.
anybody else getting drunk on a tuesday night?
I'm not a virgin but I rarely have sex
I enjoy Mubi a lot. I preferred their old model of a new film every day like a little surprise rather than the constant catalogue. I have a few of their physical releases (Pleasure and Benedetta). Overall a good company but I remember the app getting a bit expensive.
I think it's like the undateables but they get uggos and retards to shag
On my 5th cider lad
Sex education on virgin island
Got a 1l bottle of Jim Beam. I'll probably drink a third of it? We'll see anyway
Christ, what is that?
4 pints but going to bed now because i have to work early tomorrow
virgins when they realise what sex involves
Such a beautiful and noble culture!
"i'm going to seaham"
"see-him? who, your boyfriend?"
some memory's never fade......
Someone showed her vagina to the men
Used to watch a film a day. Would go to my local cinema at least twice a week. Can't be bothered with that now
that boy is now a man. he is married with a wife and child. so i've had the last laugh. heh.
They got a man to show his penis to the virgin women
glad I'm not alone, cheers lads
Me? Stopped bothering to wipe my own arse now, I just shit and pull me kegs up. Well, what's the point?
I still watch loads of films but don't bother with my cinema so much. Gotten too expensive, they don't show the films I want to see and their screens are in really shoddy condition. This is Omniplex in NI. I expect them to go bust soon to be honest.
qrd on whether this is shite, actually good, or ACTUALLY good?
The penis was flaccid during the demonstration
Oh yeah here's some hung Chad ladies, remember him when you have to fuck the spackers
mine's bigger than that wahey
i feel like these posts mirror each other.
Auditors get a job.
No such thing as a virgin women
As the thread normie, I think BritNormie should follow this bloke's lead and demonstrate his penis to eva6
After setting fire to a Rustlers burger in my assisted living kitchen, I've been assessed by a government agency and officially designated a "Baby Man". It's a new category of adult male incapable of independent living. My benefits have tripled, but my dignity has tanked.
Eva, do you prefer flaccid or erect penises?
flaccid ones are easier to look at
Lad what the fuck is that. Imagine this lurching at you filled with fire and passion.
Mines is smaller than that flaccid but bigger erect. We come in all shapes and sizes and it a lush.