Maybe they will stop hurting you someday
Come here to vent and get comfort <3
ur white image is hurting me aaaa
anyway time to cry
im completely dead and unable to commit to doing anything due to how pointless it all is to me.
ive stopped working, ive stopped even consuming media, all i do is Anon Babble.
the way i coped with pointlessness before is by sharing my entire life with someone and doing things together.
we did it since i was a kid.
am not going to be able to contact that person anymore.
the relationship we had was weird, like a friendship with love on top of it, mostly from me but he did reciprocate at times.
i cant try irl because of anxiety, even posting on Anon Babble is difficult for me.
tho im trying to push the boundaries, im almost eased with 4chans now.
ive tried /soc to replicate it and it sucked cos am retarded and i dont know how to talk with new people at all i guess.
it was better with robots but i feel unable to progress with them either.
is it possible to find closeness online?
People hate saying what they mean because they want what they don't know. They want you to fill in the gaps, but then accuse you of doing it wrong.
it is definitely possible, what sort of closeness are you looking for? what are you seeking from it?
I just dont understand what im doing wrong tbdesu, no matter what it seems like im doomed to be alone forever. Maybe its autism, maybe its insecurities.
I just know i don't want to be alone anymore
what sort of closeness are you looking for?
all of it i think
i wish to be completely attached and for it to be both ways, to feel needed
what are you seeking from it?
to share our entire lives with a person.
its like, if im with someone who likes me everything becomes real. i become real.
I wanted an easy and basic image that fit the background, lol.
im completely dead and unable to commit to doing anything due to how pointless it all is to me.
I think our modern day has such an overregulated and impersonal economy to where satisfaction in life is very delayed and hard to come by. Plus it's hard to get a marriage and family young while still setting yourself up for success.
is it possible to find closeness online?
I think so, yes, but it's better if you can meet someone in person.
Do you have real life friends? Do you live on your own?
What do you mean by "they want what they don't know"?
howcome you can't contact that person anymore? have you had any issues finding anyone else with similar degrees of attachment? its pretty easy to find people like that here usually. you probably will need to go irl eventually though or else people will fade away. what kind of things is there to attach over though, do you have shared interests you would indulge in or?
I HAVE A SIM RACING CAR WORTH 8 USD AND IT WAS UPDATED AND I CANNOT DRIVE IT ANYMORE BECAUSE I KEEP LOCKING THE REAR WHEELS AND LOSING THEM ON LOW SPEED CORNER ENTRY WHAT THE FUCK NIGGA
Been dead inside since 2021.
Put myself in an uncomfortable amount of debt trying to live alone and enjoy life.
I've been kinda waiting to just die someway somehow, but I keep finding little moments to keep going on. Recently got to see a friend and it reminded me how I used to be. Maybe it's not too late for me to start over again.
Hugs to you anon.
alone
Romance or friends?
Romance is the main issue
But even on the friends front i only have a couple gaming buddies that have let me know they dont give a shit about when i talk about personal stuff, they just wanna have fun which is fair ig
RIP anon. Is it limited edition? Can you get a replacement?
Ah that sucks. Sounds like they are more so acquaintances. Do you have any old connections or family members you're still on good terms with?
overregulated and impersonal economy
everything is huge and faceless, yeah. i dont think it affects me, i dont engage in society irl
to get a marriage and family young while still setting yourself up for success
these words look so alien to me, im not at all looking for procreation, just for someone of any gender whom id be closest to, and who would be closest for me
if you can meet someone in person.
i definitely wish to, potentially doing that would motivate me heavily to work a lot for it
Do you have real life friends?
i have people who know my face, but they dont know me
Do you live on your own?
no, with mother
howcome you can't contact that person anymore?
its a long and difficult story of conflict for the last year that i dont quite fully understand myself
have you had any issues finding anyone else with similar degrees of attachment?
my first few tries on /soc felt like this, but they were dealing with lots of trauma and each has blocked me in a week or so.
it affected me somehow, i think i feel a bit jaded.
its pretty easy to find people like that here usually
yeah ill definitely try more on r9k, im currently in a bit of anxiety regression.
im scared to waste their time and stuff like that
do you have shared interests you would indulge in
pretty normal Anon stuff i guess : code (we could make a project, or id teach), vidya, experimental music which i would also like to learn to make together, drawing. i could copy interests of someone as well
i feel like im shifting heavily between being interesting and being completely useless randomly. its not like i dont engage and ghost, but me talking just looks like shit.
im currently in the shit phase
tho with old friend talking was like breathing
i dont think it affects me, i dont engage in society irl
I was thinking that might be why you find committing to things like work pointless. They don't pay off much like they used to..
alien to me
I my be off then.
they dont know me
Might be a big part of it. Were you standoffish at work? Or just nothing that lasted after you quit?
What do you mean by "they want what they don't know"?
Something like this
Not really desu, i didnt go to school from 14 onwards.
Only family member that actually cares is my mom but shes just as autistic as me. And i can't really go cry and whine to my mommy as a 23yr old man. Especially since shes permanently with her new boyfriend
So, like, issues at work? Or is it more metaphorical?
why you find committing to things like work pointless.
alone everything is pointless, somehow.
whats the reason to have money if theres nothing that i want to spend it on?
Were you standoffish at work? Or just nothing that lasted after you quit?
not really, its just that i became too lazy and started missing all the deadlines. previously i worked only to move to my friends country to be closer with him
Did you get a GED after? What happened there?
Hmm I see. Sounds like you've been feeling numb.
It's a metaphor for society. Think about how many people want a "better life" but don't think of it as a positive-sum game.
I guess I don't follow. Sorry.
Yes, and that's my problem. Society is a vast system that is broken, and nobody can communicate how to fix it.
its a shame you're a boy. this kind of dedication would have you 100 suitors as a girl
Anyone feeling extra retarded these days? Like, I caught cold but that's not the reason. Idk I just feel like head is heavy all the time and I have trouble paying attention to my surroundings. I also can barely hold a conversation, sometimes I feel like I am about to burst into tears in the middle of a conversation. I don't have anxiety or any other mental illnesses, I'm just tired.
Poor cardiorespiratory health could be the reason though. You need air to get oxygen to your brain to think. Maybe eat more fiber and do some gardening.
i get told that a lot, maybe my best chances are with gays then.
though i scared the few that added me off by not being sexual
Yeah, I sit like 7 hours a day in a poorly ventilated room and barely move or eat or drink water or do anything really. And yeah I should eat some more fruits, I ate like shit this week and I even lost my appetite cause of the cold. I don't know how to to that gardening stuff even if I had access to it.
Opps meant to reply to
Look, you're spending your time just shitposting on Anon Babble right now. Why not take a walk? The internet is on your phone. You can't escape us.
It's kinda late plus I still need to get shit shit done. I'm just procrastinating. Plus I even managed to finish a short manga today. Which isn't a lot but it's a lot me since I have to make a genuine effort to consume media instead of letting the day pass while staring at my screen and doing nothing.
I'm just procrastinating.
Procrastinate by getting some fresh air and stop being a baka gaijin
What do you have going on in life?
I wonder how many people get oneitis and can't move past it mentally. I think it's way more common than people admit, even to themselves. I wonder if I'll ever be able to get past all this. It's been about 14 years since the beginning.
i need a hug so badly... it feels lonely
did you get a ged
No, im on neetbux, tried some jobs but its hell
It feels so impossible, I cant even realistically imagine it anymore.
RIP nose guy. Sorry about that.
Hugs to you anon :)
what feels impossible, anon?
(squeezes anon) thank you!!
I feel like I spend 90% of my time on autopilot. I'm so tired every day. It's partly from my manual labor job but mostly I think is my life energy being spent to sustain the robot my coworkers, friends, and family know me as. Some days are better than others. Today is below average.
Nothing much. School, that's about it.
this is so unbelievably hot
Dust mite allergy? My nose is fucked so iktf