No one wants to read my poetry

no one wants to read my poetry

Is it shit? Am I gonna ask for you to post it and it's just shit? Be honest with me

Damn right nobody wants to read it nigga

no one wants to read my poetry because it's terrible

I will read it but only if you let me fuck you.

why not post it for us all to read?

I will print out your poetry and cock tribute it.

You're so interesting.

I'll read your poetry if you read my short story

what is it about? i might want to read it

alright

*The hungry torch*

A single breeze is all it took.
The fire gave out, leaving its hook.

Through my hands, I will catch it again.
Even if I fall as a burned man.

Because OP is a faggot. He could've posted the poetry from the get-go and make people read it, but he'd rather bitch about being misunderstood. It's his whole identity.

I've posted poetry on here before. Some landed, some got ignored. It's just the nature of the game and nothing to be scared of or resentful of.

if you read my short story

post it
it's here

no, OP is a genius. me complaining was a publicity stunt hehe

Poetry can be good, but actual poets are insufferable.

I don't even read 99% of the posts here anymore since they're worthless. Only dropped in bc the pic caught my eye. It's 2025 bro. Put it in a video and narrate it.

Put it in a video and narrate it

impossible

Real talk only, that's what poetry is all about, you are just a source of message, it's up to them to understand your message

pastebin.com/ufW47U7F

There you go

I wholeheartedly agree. Throwback to Socrates' take on poets not even understanding their own work as well as the next guy.

the single breeze is all it took,
snuffing flame--that fleeting look
that's flitting by the foyer hook;

the single breeze is all it took,
soft-clasping hands upon the flame--
the embers of a heartstrung-game
that's flitting--fading by the foyer hook

too many new terms/characters

the fight was rlly cool

maybe you could add a motivation. I didn't know who to root for. I give it a B+

too many new terms/characters

Yeah it's a world building project I'm extremely lazy to complete because i'm a faggot.

I posted it in Anon Babble and no one read it or just called me a faggot and to kys. Maybe i'll put it on r9k? Idk if this board is for that but Anon Babble is too slow and full of self righteous faggots so i'm just sitting on multiple word docs of this bullshit story i can't finish

Oh sorry i forgot to talk about your poetry.

I'm a bit of a retard so any symbolism flew over my head it reminded me of what it feels like to weld and use a burning torch like when the flame goes out I'm like FUCK and then i have to light it again. It was pretty good

Chief Black Moon and his Druzko had finally caught up with Gegan

Literally who? (x3)

after what seemed like a week-long hunt, though only taken four days had passed.

That grammar is off.

That's your opening line. That's when you should be on your best behavior as an author. Those Anon Babblefags are right to ignore you. Git gud, scrub.

i think OPs poem was about transient, naive love and holding on to it, though it burns, even as it fades away

A single breeze is all it took.

The fire gave out, leaving its hook.

Through my hands, I will catch it again.

Even if I fall as a burned man.

Literally who? (x3)

It's a short story in a bigger thing read>That grammar is off.
Yeah I suck at editing

That's when you should be on your best behavior as an author.

I'm not an author, i'm just a blue collar faggot with an overactive imagination. And the Anon Babblefags didnt even read so who fucking cares. Die about chud

All this rhyming business feels cheap.
Try making a poem that doesn't rely on rhyming.
Surely a poem is more than just word play / sounds.
Perhaps more about the words used and the imagery associated with them.

A more abstract/ambiguous form of writing.

This outfit fits Ryuko a lot and it's making me horny

It's a short story in a bigger thing

Show, don't tell.

Yeah I suck at editing

There are tools for this.

I'm not an author, i'm just a blue collar faggot

Ngmi. Pic-rel is one of the many famous blue collar authors that are out there.

Yeah I COULD have just explained all the nonsense words, TOLD you who exactly the chief was etc. But at the end of the day I'm going to fit all this together at some point to make it coherent.

There are tools for this.

Yeah I have been using them but I'm one retard sitting alone in his room, I literally put that same line in an editing tool and it told me it was fine lol albeit in the word doc I have on my computer changed it to

Chief Black Moon and his Druzko finally caught up with Gegan after what seemed like a week-long hunt, though only four days passed.

So if you're gonna shit on me for that it's acceptable since i could just update the pastebin that everyone can see.

many famous blue collar authors

Yeah it's possible but I'm never gonna be that and I'm not going to aim for that I'm just gonna keep writing and trying to improooov and not expect anything out of it

Not OP
If it does not have wordplay, sounds, rhymes, or consonance, then I'd rather read a book of prose.

April is the cruellest month, breeding

Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing

Memory and desire, stirring

Dull roots with spring rain.

This is a popular vers libre poem yet it makes use of consonance and such, wordplay essentially but also rhymes at other times. And another:

That time is dead for ever, child!

Drowned, frozen, dead for ever!

We look on the past

And stare aghast

At the spectres wailing, pale and ghast,

I don't think that rhyme or metre can be cheap or excessive, overused except in execution, and not everyone wants to be a Shakespeare writing timeless tales of love tragedy, sometimes a simple message is enough.

No, not really. Also, you should poetry for you, not to share. The last time I wrote poetry for someone else was a woman I loved and saw as a muse and I really only shared the stuff that was for her.

You are right. Often times poems almost feel mechanical. It's like making it rhymes is all they care about, when it ought to convey something, lol.
Rhymes and meter are fine, but note the guy said you shouldn't rely just on that; it should be more.

getyarn.io/yarn-clip/0a5d7da1-8356-4a53-8e5a-0ae5d8a3182f

put it where people can find it, like maybe deviantard

I think that's a pointless critique of OP. If he could write two rhymed couplets, he can write two unrhymed. The only thing that was necessary was

I think these two couplets didn't say much.

But after all, he only wrote two couplets.

Because people who can write good poetry are exceedingly rare. It's not just about rhyming it's about painting a meaningful mental picture with words and language. Most people wax poetic about the most contrived done to death topics like: love, death, violence, injustice, innocence lost, society, muh trauma, muh shellshock

It's very boring when you've heard the same theme with a hundred variations.

The most profound poem I ever read was "Murmur Not" by Freidrich Ruckert.

Anon Babble is now a cesspool of underage posters and fart sniffing retards magnitudes worse than years before. I read your story and though the start was discouraging, i found it a fun read, even if it is for a mayor project consider not frontloading so many lore words at the start of it if you are gonna post it for randoms. If i were to suggest somewhere to post more stuff, the worldbuilding threads in Anon Babble sometimes are more friendly to writefags if you aren't a retard about it.

Anon Babble is now a cesspool of underage posters and fart sniffing retards magnitudes worse than years before.

I figured that out the hard way but thank you for putting it so eloquently

the start was discouraging

I've been told this several times lol maybe i should work on this.

not frontloading so many lore words

So I made a whole thread explaining these things, but obviously it got ignored and the story was a companion to it, it took me like 10 mins to write so it's pretty bad right now. I will improve on explaining the lore words and keep your advice in mind

worldbuilding threads in Anon Babble

Didn't even know this existed i just went on Anon Babble for battletech general thanks anon!
Here's a smooch

smooch

same anon, i like her thighs
is she your waifu?