I am your new therapist, tell me your troubles and I will give you the best advice possible

Everything I want to do is illegal or not possible for some reason so it's enough to lose motivation for life.

Move to a place where it is legal I guess

You have reinforced this behavior for too long, on an emotional level too which makes its binding power stronger. Your brain has become programed to follow this loop:

Antecedent: you're bored, you want conversation, you're feeling horny
Behaviour: go to Anon Babble
Consequence: you are entertained, you find kinship and understanding, you find horny pictures

What you need to do is entertain yourself by other means, and since you have friends talk to them.

The world is ending quite soon so do not worry about it, the opinions of others will be of no relevance

Are there any ways to fix normies internal aggression problem and their status seeking addiction? So many suffering and unfairness can be removed if we can fix normies.

I'm a former hikikomori but I'm still too retarded to do anything besides walk for hours in the same places daily. Wat do, Pepe?

Every moment might as well be an eternity, you quack

What do you mean by "retarded"?
What do you get out of these daily walks?
What do you want to do instead of walk?

I'm too afraid of people to move forward in life. There are people in the way at every turn.

What exactly do you find scary?

Pick a random skill you kind of enjoy doing or have a surface level interest in it, like cooking, dancing, art, a sport, etc. Find a weekly meetup or class for it. That will give you something to look forward to every week and a feeling of progression as you get better at it. you might even make some friends in the process too.

What do you mean by "retarded"?

Socially anxious and struggling to do anything unfamiliar.

What do you get out of these daily walks?

It gets me out of my room for a few hours and away from devices.

What do you want to do instead of walk?

I'm not sure, I used to have hobbies but it's been almost a decade since I did anything like that. Can't decide if I should find something to do by myself or force myself into a social enviornment.

I have raging mommy issues and I always breakdown and cry over her because I desperately want to understand why she never wanted to be there for me or love me

It's good that you're walking out of your room, you're already facing head-on your fear of doing unfamiliar things.
You need to gradually face your social anxiety through small acts, similar to your walks. I suppose going to the store to buy something or ask something could work.
I don't think it's time to "force" you into anything, it's going to backfire. Work on yourself first, find something that you enjoy doing and then you might be able to bond over it with other people.

tl;dr take small steps, you're already doing good

Have you ever told your mother how you feel? Is she still alive?
What exactly would you want to tell her?

I'm trying and failing to quit nicotine. what do pepe

I feel completely detached from myself all the time these days. I can't even get angry. Hell I can't even care if I respond to obvious bait anymore because I just want confirmation that I even exist. Idk if I even have the capability to actually feel real emotions anymore.

Interacting with them. I don't know how to do it correctly and they're unpredictable. I feel nervous, choked up, and my heart starts to race. I miss all the cues because I don't think quickly enough. They always end up thinking I'm either rude, creepy, or mentally handicapped. Then you don't get a second chance. It's exhausting.

They always end up thinking I'm either rude, creepy, or mentally handicapped

How do you know this is what they end up thinking? What do you want to gain or accomplish through social interaction?
Do you work or study? Where do you endure socialization?

i cannot get over how worthless i am and how no matter how hard i try, i will never have a happy life like the people i see around me everywhere i go. i was a sweet hopeful kid and it feels like i was let down by the people around me. i went through a lot all alone. i had to resolve my thoughts and emotions alone without guidance. i feel so much bitterness and hatred for the world and its inhabitants, but i know it's irrational. i don't know which feelings to trust so i don't interact with the social world past surface level anymore. i swallow disrespect and being used because of my fear of being so unbased in reality that i'll do or say something that i don't really mean. i feel like a bitch when that happens, so i stopped trusting people with my presence entirely. i feel so much frustration and anger for the world. the people who put me down and failed me are thriving, while i spiral. how do i stop the comparisons? how do i crawl out of this spiral of bitterness and self-hatred?

How do you know this is what they end up thinking?

I suppose I can't know for sure what they're thinking. I'm just assuming based on past experiences were I was directly called those things. Even my parents have told me I come off that way to others.
I just know the conversation ends abruptly, they make disgusted or angry facial expressions, they don't interact with me again if I see them again, they move seats to be away from me.

What do you want to gain or accomplish through social interaction?

Employment or finishing my degree. I can't get past job interviews and I keep dropping classes because of group work or awkward interactions with classmates.

Do you work or study?

I'm a neet right now.

Where do you endure socialization?

While job searching, when I was still taking classes (couple months ago), and the few times I go to shops/get haircut/doctor.

She's still alive yeah, I just never tell her how I feel because she's a narcissist so anything I feel is my fault and she would also never feel sympathy towards me if I told her how I felt. If I could tell her anything I would tell her how badly I want her to be there for me, and how I want her to stop being so manipulative and controlling and self centered. I just want her to say she's sorry and that she loves me.

I have no interest in humanly activity

It's good that you're so rational and grounded when it comes to your own thoughts and feelings. You feel hate and you understand where it comes from, but you don't let the hate speak on your behalf.
Maybe it's good that you retreated from the social world, because you have a lot of healing to do. Stop calling yourself a bitch, you already know you have a lot of strength (after all, you went through life without guidance, went through a lot on your own, and despite being hurt you're still not broken).
I'm not going to say you should forgive, but you should definitely forget. What's done is done. Those people who hurt you don't matter anymore in your life... don't let their ghost linger and control you. Forget about the world, stop looking at other people's lives, try to reach that sweet hopeful kid and see what it wanted and expected of the world, don't bury him beneath the hatred.
Practical terms: don't look at other people, at all. Don't think about them. Don't think about the ones who hurt you. Think about yourself, think about this happiness you mustn't give up on, what does it look like?

I'm an undesirable (ugly for short) foid. Women are only good for their looks so I'm completely useless

Not op but just be honest and say you will never settle for your looks match

meetup or class for it.

You city folk are really annoying. There ain't nothing like that here. Inb4 you tell me to move somewhere else.

Inb4 you tell me to move somewhere else.

Just get 8 hours of sleep

thank you for the kind words and guidance. i don't have the answers yet, but i wrote your question down in my notebook so i can reflect on it later. there is a lot that i have to sift through, but this is a good starting point

They don't want me either. When I say undesirable, I really fucking mean it.

Detected gender: male

...

Your parents have hurt you deeply and unfairly. Of course it's hard to keep your head up after that, but you mustn't take their words as a fact of life.
You can't read people's minds, you are prone to misinterpreting cues too. Don't rely too much on your negative judgments because they come from a place of pain and trauma. I'm not gonna tell you you're the fairest princess in the kingdom, but you're not a ghoul either. You're just a guy who's trying to earn a degree and a job. People might not like you for who you are, people are full of hate and prejudice, but you're not there to be popular, you're there to get a job.
Don't give into neetdo, that is the worst mistake you could make. You're going to let your pain win and control you if you do this.
My advice would be to work on yourself by letting go of your obsession over other people's judgements. Show yourself to the world as a person who wants a job, a person with skills that can make money, that's all you have to be.
De-escalate those negative thoughts, dismiss them. Your classmates are just temporary, but your education isn't.

Detected gender: male

I know, I look very masculine (NOT in a good way)

I want a girlfriend but I'm autistic and scared of them

Being that she's a narcissist, you'll have to come to accept that she might never say those words. Or even worse, she might say them just to get something out of you.
I don't know if it would be a good idea to tell her what you feel. I think it would be a better idea to focus on healing those wounds by yourself. Don't become dependent on hearing those words or wanting them. The best course of action is to get away. In the end, the fate of every person is to separate from the mother and forge their own path. You were already forced onto that path by being deprived of love for too long and being the puppet of a narcissist, but you're still held in place by the umbilical cord, so to speak.
You're hurt, don't let it go on, don't let your relief depend on her, find a way out for yourself, a way in which you don't need to hear those words anymor.e

Your parents have hurt you deeply and unfairly.

It was said with my best interest in mind, not to hurt me.

Show yourself to the world as a person who wants a job, a person with skills that can make money, that's all you have to be

I'll try to maintain this mindset, thanks.

It was said with my best interest in mind, not to hurt me.

Maybe so, but parents aren't perfect. You can forgive them, you can even "justify" them, but you shouldn't downplay the emotional effect their words and judgements have had on you. Being honest doesn't mean hating them.

Maybe you have a bad personality. Idk.

seeing ppl like this get high salary jobs meanwhile I barely get by makes me suffer

Why are you seeing them?

they are engrained into my soul

How so?
Who is, exactly?

women and other onions with cushy jobs

What exactly is the problem?