This question is mainly directed towards fembots who feel like they're behind in life.
Suppose you had a relatively successful bf who was at least several years younger than you. He loves you, he wants to eventually marry you, and he does his best to take care of you. However, at the end of the day, he's more successful than you in almost every way despite being at least several years younger.
How would you feel about that?
i'd feel like a burden and not know why he's staying with a loser like me
Let's say you knew for certain that he genuinely loved you and didn't consider you a burden. Would that change things?
Absolutely jealous and ashamed
I also don't even like guys who are less than 6 years older than me because I'm so awkward with people that are too close to my age so I don't think a boy my age or younger would even wanna date me lol
idk if i can feel certainty like that, i'd have to be a very different person
That he would leave me for a younger woman if he had the chance.
A man should be the successful one in a relationship regardless of age.
If he did want to date you would that change anything or would you still prefer an older guy?
Let's say you did though. How would that affect things?
Also, do you think in a more realistic scenario there would be anything he could do to give you as much certainty as possible?
You know for sure that he genuinely loves you and wouldn't leave you in this scenario.
Fair point but I'm wondering about how much an age gap would affect a relationship like this.
If the age gap is too big then it is itself the problem, not the level of "success" of the two.
I would genuinely love an agegap relationship with a girlfailure, I'm not very successful but i've definitely done well for myself considering i'm pretty dumb.
A girlfailure would have a bunch of cynical life experience and a couple weird hobbies, i have a good bit of technical knowledge as well would be a perfect match(it doesnt exist)
I actually was in this situation and I didnt care because I loved him.
He eventually ghosted me
I wasnt enough
If he did want to date you would that change anything or would you still prefer an older guy?
Probably prefer an older guy because there would be no good reason to date me. I'd be a really toxic influence in his life, always jealous, always insecure, always awkward and there wouldn't be much to like about me unless we've formedd some form of a very toxic bond
ghosted
E-dating isn't real.
I'm a guy but a relationship like this would be ideal for me. I would love to take care of girl a few years older than me.
I seem pretty successful at a surface level but I'm kind of broken inside, at least in some ways. That might not be a bad thing though, I can relate to people who are struggling especially if they are struggling because of mental health related issues.
how would you feel about it, femanon?
i'd feel that way
no no but what if you were a differen person and felt differently, how'd you feel then?
lole i don't know
in a 'realistic' (i don't think anyone bothering with me is realistic) scenario idk what he could do other than having an ungodly amount of patience
Can you elaborate more on the situation? Why do you think he thought you weren't enough?
Started irl and ended in edating
Why do you think an older guy would be more likely to tolerate these issues than a younger guy?
Why do you think someone would need an ungodly amount of patience to deal with you? What sorts of issues do you have?
I seem pretty successful at a surface level but I'm kind of broken inside, at least in some ways.
This is literally me. I'm divorced, because my ex-wife was a professionally diagnosed BPDemon and hid it incredibly well until we were married. I almost completely lost myself over the 8 years that we were together.
i'm a sickly anxiety ridden antisocial neet fast approaching 30. all those things are hecking cute only when you're dealing with someone fresh out of college or pretty
More like I wasnt worth the trouble
I went away, our relationship turned long distance
He told me he went to parties, confessed doing coke, met interesting people, politicians, girls. I was so jealous and insecure, it was my first relationship too. I felt so replaceable.
Later I learned that his family was pretty well off, so if he wanted me by him he would have me easily. The messages went from every hour to once a day to weeks and then months. I still get messages from him from time to time, I dont have the guts to block him
We had a 5 year gap btw
he sounds like a very evil man
Would you feel more comfortable having a bf with a situation more similar to your own and closer to you in age or would you feel bad having any sort of bf?
Do you think he ever felt about you the way you felt about him?
Well according to him and every kind of metric you would be correct. He was an (((investment banker))) after all.
Still, every memory I have of him is coated in sweet longing
Which is probably the result of him being my first bf desu
every memory I have of him is coated in sweet longing
it's fine since the same thing happened with my first gf who cheated on me
For a time at least, it was real. I still have the poetry he wrote to me, and the memories of our time together will be forever encapsulated in memories and dreams
Why do you think an older guy would be more likely to tolerate these issues than a younger guy?
My inferiority complex is less pronounced when I'm with people who are a bit older than me and I don't act all awkward and jealous
I'm broken in a different way. I have mental health issues which can be crippling at times, mainly anxiety and depression. A good portion of my success is likely due to either direct luck or being lucky enough having social, successful friends who liked me for some reason.
Why do you think this is the case? Do you feel like older people are in a different stage of life so you can't really compare your situation with their situations as directly?
Yep, with them it's easier to write it off as just them being older and having more time and experience
Honestly, you sound kind of perfect.
I wouldn't mind it. Men being ahead in life is how it should be and frankly people complaining about """losing competition""" to women seem like less than worms to me.
However I would still resort to doting on and teasing him naturally so he will likely feel disrespected and leave.
people complaining about """losing competition""" to women
what does this mean?
Would you prefer something different though?
I wouldnt say prefer.
I just have heavy character, basically tsundere, so I usually dont get along with people I like. I do wish I was passionately desired for once, but anyways it doesnt matter
What sorts of people do you like?
What sort of things would you say youre looking for in a bf?
I honestly dunno, I just seek to actually connect with someone for once but its impossible so I am not looking for anyone. People who are supposedly "like me" dont get me either.
The typical, confident, fun, generous, kind. I just enjoy the sight of them from the side and dont interact because I am a nuisance and moodkiller.
Why do you think it's impossible for you to connect to people?
just don't be a moodkiller bro, no one is forcing you to be that way besides yourself
ideal obviously even though the age thing is questionable since i'm still young myself
Why is this ideal for you?